Aerosmith Bangalore concert : June 2nd 2007

June 2nd 2007, Saturday

The day’s packed. I am sick of waiting for the “clients” who are supposed to come to our office. As the HR bumpkins scamper around trying to spruce up the place, I am reminded of a Kannada saying ‘boLammanige singaara maaDidru’ [they decked up the widow].

They were supposed to come at 12:00PM, finally they arrived at 2:30PM. Which meant that I’d be cutting it too fine for the concert. Pissed already because I’m looking like a jerk, dressed in formals on a Saturday when I should have been rightfully ogling babes in 4th Block, I curse out loud. I have to get home after this charade, quick change into something more comfortable for a live concert and rush back 15 kilometers… It’s not gonna be easy.

Thankfully, they hogged like err… hogs in the conference room and very not too keen on listening to our droning, so we were spared. It was 6:00PM when I got out of office. 15 kilometers to my place. Concert starts at 7:30PM

Do I dash home? Do I go to the concert looking like some honcho from Microsoft? I realize there is no time to do a Ham-let, so I quickly get transport and head home. I’ll take my chance… I reach home at 6:55PM. By the time I reach the main door, I am stripped to my waist… My neighbors usually don’t look into our compound, but if someone did notice my circus, stripping with one hand holding the bag in another and trying to get my black leather shoes off with the legs, tangling up and almost tripping, they would not have been surprised. They have seen me do crazier things.

7:00PM I rush out of the house while buttoning my shirt and hail the first auto that passes in front of my house. I tell the driver that I need to be inside palace grounds before 7:30PM and that my life depends on it. He thinks I’m a hero rushing to protect my girl. He grins and says OK boss!!! Rest easy.

I know it’s not possible, but why break the man’s heart? To be fair to him, he did reach quiet close to the place by 7:30PM, but the traffic police deputed to handle the influx of vehicles to the concert area were clearly incapable of handling such volume… so it took us 20 minutes to cover a couple of kilometers. Which in hindsight I could have walked in half the time if I had set my mind and not sat on my ass fretting and fuming at my inconsiderate bosses.

I reach the concert arena at 8:00 and by the time I get my turn to enter it is already 10 minutes and two songs into the concert.

They were singing some song I could not pay attention as I was intent on getting as close to the center of the arena to get better acoustics and view. A few hands shook and a few backs slapped and apologizing for pushing off, I reached my vantage point by the time the song finished… That was ‘Falling in love (is hard on the knees)’

For me the concert started with ‘Cryin’ [ Could I have been prophetic? ]
Steven Tyler swigging from a water bottle, gurgling and then spitting on the audience… pulling his t-shirt to display ‘lick me’ on his waist…

Eat the rich, Jaded, What it takes, Baby please don’t go [from Honkin’ on Bobo]…

Two wooden chairs on the extended ramp. Steven Tyler and Joe Perry start a acoustic version of “Hangman’s jury” and then move to “Seasons of Wither” which develops in to a regular electric version midway reaching a crescendo and continues into ‘Dream on’ as Joe Perry screams ‘Dream on baby’…

Last child, Livin’ on the edge…

Then Joe ‘fuckin’ Perry as he was introduced by Tyler takes the centerstage… he tells us that they’d been waiting to perform in India and that they were always fascinated with India for all the right reasons : not for the elephant rides, not for the colourful things that you put on your hands but for the Kamasutra. And then he explains that Aerosmith were always about messin’ around and what better teaches that than Kamasutra?
That was his way of introducing the trippy and bluesy ‘stop messin’ around’ which he sang brilliantly apart from the licks on the guitar with a few Jimi Hendrix imitations [simulated sex with the monitors on stage with the guitar, playing the guitar behind his back] thrown in…

Then Tom Hamilton is introduced and walks to the end of the ramp where he begins the signature bass lines which bring ‘sweet emotion’ to life…

Draw the line… and the band walks off stage.

The crowd cries out for more… and Steven Tyler comes on stage with a ‘Mysore peTa’ [Mysore Turban, a unique piece of headgear if there is one…] There’s no Run DMC this time around, but Aerosmith “walk this way”. And what the heck they are off again…

The crowd shouts for more and they are not going towards the exit yet.

Tyler comes out again as the crowd shouts for Joe ‘Fucking’ Perry and after a minute more, Tyler says looks like you got him and Joe comes out. Tyler says they will play 2 more songs. A mushy “I don’t want to miss a thing” later, the police surprise the band. As everyone leaves the stage, Tyler is heard saying apologetically: “they’re dragging us off the stage guys”

The crowd of about 25000 was well behaved… It was an evening they’ll remember equally for it’s magic as much as the music that the cops killed. Some of the best numbers were probably saved for the encore but were cut short.

I was there. Despite their best efforts, everyone who conspired against me [my bosses, my colleagues, traffic police, Bangalore’s lousy undisciplined drivers] that day, failed.
10 minutes, 2 songs. That’s all they could dock from my concert account. Fuckin’ Losers.